A friend has been told some sobering health news. Do you fumble for the right words of comfort or even decline visiting because you wonder what you would say? Saying the graceful and loving thing may feel key, but it’s more important to listen well. Think of yourself as a sounding board and let your loved one express herself openly—and deal with your own fears on your own time, says Dale G. Larson, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in end-of-life care. Also, let your friend take the lead. “We assume that our sick friends are preoccupied with their illness,” said Larson, but their thoughts might be about other people and situations. If your friend does express fear, respond with empathy and let her know you love her. Make sure she knows she doesn’t have to go through her trials alone. —Katie Brophy