People value the ability to stay in charge of their behavior when they’re under pressure, whether it’s turning down that piece of fudge or keeping their cool when another driver cuts them off. But it turns out that too much self-control may mean they miss out on the lighter side of life. While those who excel at controlling themselves are generally calmer and more dependable than others, they may also be more introverted and lack spontaneity, says a study from North Dakota State University at Fargo. Other research suggests if you sometimes feel too buttoned-up even when everyone else is letting loose, you should just relax—literally. You can learn to manage your self-control. “People need to consider when restraint is really desirable,” says study author Michael D. Robinson, Ph.D. “When the stakes are high, you should muster all your self-control. But if you’re in a comfortable setting—say at a vacation dinner—realize that you can let yourself go. In fact, loosening up may help you enjoy the pleasant company or rich food to the fullest.” —Alison O. White